What is the best Succession insult? Who has delivered the most insults? And which character is the most-frequently insulted? (Spoiler: It's not Cousin Greg.)
Photo-Illustration: Vulture; Photos by HBO Succession is one of the best shows on television for many reasons. It’s a timely unpacking of capitalism and how power corrupts. The performances give its characters and their family drama more dimension, all with a healthy mix of comedy and tragedy.
At Shiv’s wedding reception, Kendall sees right through his long and lanky cousin when Greg tells him that he made copies of the documents from cruises he was asked to destroy, following that up with “anyone would be wise to keep me in a good role.” Greg might seem like a bumbling idiot, but in this moment Kendall discovers that Greg has strategized to get himself ahead just like everyone else.On paper, this sentence is not particularly unique.
At Kendall’s 40th birthday party, Shiv furiously dances by herself as if nobody’s watching. Unfortunately, everyone she knows is watching. Anyone can dance whenever they want, but that does not mean that anyone should dance in public. Shiv is clearly more comfortable in a fitted gray suit in a boardroom in the Financial District than she is in a dark club in Hudson Yards, so she looks a little out of place here and Roman calls her out behind her back.
This insult accomplishes a few things at once: First, it gives sweet old Frank, who may be the only character on Succession who has any sliver of good morals in his body, a sinking feeling in his stomach. Second, it also provides some eloquent exposition on the backstory of a tertiary character. Third, it establishes why he’s back in Logan’s circle after betraying him alongside Kendall in the season-one bear hug attempt.
This line, which Shiv says on the Roy family therapy trip to Connor’s ranch in New Mexico, demonstrates how much Shiv has changed since the first season of Succession. In season one, Shiv sparred with her father. She stood against — or told herself she stood against — everything her father represented. She pushed back against him and Waystar’s values, and insulted him whenever she had the chance. Now, in season three, Shiv is quite the opposite.
It does not matter if a spider can go down a dick. What matters is Tom’s sing-song-y delivery, and if Matthew Macfadyen gets an Emmy for his performance in season three. If he doesn’t? A million poisonous spiders down every Emmy voter’s dickie. In one of Willa’s best moments, she sharply reads Tom for filth as if she’s a Real Housewife of New York City. Willa observes more than anyone in the Roy family realizes, and she can see more than Tom can from his limited perspective: the Roy family manipulates him and takes advantage of him just as Shiv does.
In one of Roman’s most subtle insults ever, he suggests his older brother Connor is a clown. If this were season one or season two, it would be so easy to be on Roman’s side here. Unfortunately in season three, Roman’s clown college diploma is slowly but surely falling out of his butt. Look at your life, Roman. You’re all a bunch of clowns!
We will forever be grateful to Succession creator Jesse Armstrong and the show’s writing team for giving Hollywood icon Holly Hunter one of the best fuck-offs the show, which is full of fuck-offs, will ever see. Tom follows his wife with another unmannerly breakfast analogy directed at Cousin Greg. Is a Tomelette served with his majesty, the spinach?
Bad tweet! All respect to Jeremy Strong, but he does share some resemblance to David Schwimmer, who is the best actor from Friends, so maybe it’s an accidental compliment. Anonymous Twitter user is right about the daddy issues, though. Shiv plays off this vicious line as a joke when Tom is taken aback. But deep down, Shiv and Tom recognize what the audience knows, too: This is exactly how Shiv feels about Tom. Shiv looks down on Tom and, generally, doesn’t even want to be married to him, or anyone for that matter. She just wants someone to do her bidding so she can get the power she feels entitled to have.
Your mother jokes are so 2006, a.k.a. when the television program Yo Momma was airing on MTV. Wow, We really have been through so much. Geri elevates the “I’m fucking your mom” joke with a biting, precise twist that accomplishes several things: it’s cruel enough to hurt Tom, and it’s funny. While this line could theoretically come from any dad who is opposed to loud noises, Logan’s delivery, starting with Brian Cox’s piercing delivery of Roman’s full name , makes it so much more cutthroat than the words suggest.
Hugo with another jab at not only poor Tom, but Shiv for being married to a man who could fumble so hard in front of Congress and, essentially, the entire country. This is where I want to have a teaching moment: Fisher Stevens, the actor who plays Hugo, dated Michelle Pfeiffer for three years in the ’90s.
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