If memory serves me correctly, I have twice had consensual sex unlawfully, writes Eusebius McKaiser
There is, strictly speaking, no such thing as “the queer community” because none of us live single-issue or single-identity lives. If, for example, you are a butch, professional, degreed gay man, you likely have a better time in SA than black lesbian women, transgender people, men who are labelled “queens” because they are deemed, queer people living under conditions of poverty and so on.
Pride Month is bittersweet. I personally enjoy enormous comforts and privileges as a gay professional man who lives openly, and with the enjoyment of a public profile of sorts. But, in comparison to tens of thousands of queer South Africans who live precarious lives and are victims of hate crimes daily and weekly, I may as well be a straight white man. That makes my individual freedom morally pathetic, in a way, because it is enjoyed in a world of un-freedoms for way too many queer people.
True allyship therefore requires more than Pride Month symbolism on your app or an elite cheese and wine at your Sandton offices with some prominent queer professionals. The more difficult work to do is, first, to chip away at beliefs and attitudes that are false and dangerous. Many of us have received ideas, religious and cultural, of homosexuality being wrong or even evil. You have a right to hold such beliefs but are not entitled to state policies and laws that enforce them as secular gospel.
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