“This is not a problem you need to solve,” Esther Perel tells this “Esther Calling” listener. This is the relationship.
, and didn’t have a lot of money growing up, and he had kind of the opposite upbringing, growing up in the typical American sheltered suburb. And I knew that things weren’t fair, that things were unequal on a lot of different levels, but it didn’t really get to me. What I’m struggling with now is the feeling of how unfair it is as opposed to just the knowledge of it.
Esther: Yes, it’s complicated. It’s layered. It’s not this or that. But you’re right. He chooses, but you know what? So have you. Because if I was asking you what drew you to him, somewhere, I’m imagining, you’d tell me that part of what you appreciate in him is his curiosity and his deep interest in you and your life experience and your family’s experience and the world and the politics outside of this country, et cetera. And that he comes from a strong family.
Esther: It’s not harsh. It’s not harsh at all. Your family, there was — the loss in your family came through divorce?Esther: Right. But because by choice or —Esther: And what you say is “Having someone else who also experienced a breakup in the family, who also experienced loss and pain from within the family, is a point of identification that we have with each other. That is very important to me.
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