Esther Perel’s Advice for Giving Advice (and Hosting Dinner Parties)

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Esther Perel’s Advice for Giving Advice (and Hosting Dinner Parties)
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And other thoughts on intimacy from a bona fide intimacy expert.

which is now part of the Vox Media Podcast Network — nor did it stop us from asking her about theIt’s hard to imagine a dinner-party conversation, no matter how TMI, that could force Perel into an awkward silence. But just in case it happens, she has a secret weapon: her music box. She cranks this steampunk-esque object — she showed it to me over Zoom — to coax guests into singing at the table. Of course, there’s also herdesigned to prompt players to share anecdotes and truths about themselves.

Stories and situations that we’ve only addressed once but that are rich and have many facets. There isn’t one story of infidelity. There isn’t one story of a breakup or changing the structure and sexual exclusivity of a relationship. There isn’t one story of conflict. It’s like novels, right? People continue to write love stories; there are hundreds of them.

That sounds infinitely better than an Edible Arrangement. I’m curious about your top dating rules. What’s your No. 1 do and your No. 1 don’t?is don’t just go out alone with the other person in a noisy bar where you’re trying to have a conversation that resembles a job interview. Do you fight. Fighting is part of robust relationships. There’s a certain place I think it’s best not to go: If you start fighting as if the other person means nothing to you and you can therefore hurl whatever you want at their face, you’ve crossed the line. Always remember this is the person you’re going to wake up with the next morning. Don’t just go for the jugular.There are situations where you’ve had the conversations, you’ve said this is over, and the person continues to reach out.

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