'The self-imposed pressure to look perfect in photos was almost too much to bear.'
. I didn't want to miss out on such an exciting time by obsessing over my weight. I was happy with my body and in a good place mentally when my fiancé proposed, so I felt confident I'd be able to maintain a healthy balance in the months ahead.
The anxiety started to set in when my second fitting didn't meet my expectations. The seamstress altered the dress in a way that made it feel tighter and look less flattering on my midsection. She had gone against my wishes in making this alteration, and while the rational part of me knew that I only looked different in the dress because of this mishap, I couldn't shake the fear that I had gained weight in the month since I last tried it on.
Thankfully, I was able to find a new seamstress who was attentive, responsive, and dedicated to helping me feel confident in my dress. After I expressed my concerns about weight fluctuations, she even offered to do a basting stitch at the waist that could easily beso I wouldn't feel pressure to maintain a certain weight. This simple act of compassion alleviated most of my fears and has allowed me to tell my disorder to f*ck off and let me enjoy my engagement.
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