Letter writer’s ex-husband was abusive, and their adult daughter still doesn’t know.
My 24-year-old daughter is expecting a baby boy. She told me that she plans to use her biological dad’s name as her baby’s middle name.
After lots of therapy I still cringe when I hear his name. My daughter has a good relationship with her father. I’m happy about this, but I can hardly bear the thought that an innocent baby will have the name of a person I consider to be a monster.On the one hand I want to tell my daughter about her dad so she can pick another middle name. On the other hand, I worry that I would selfishly evoke unwelcome turmoil and think I should remain quiet.
This would not necessarily lead to her picking another middle name for her child, and would box both of you into a corner. You should completely separate the conversation about your past from the middle name conversation, because when it comes to their child’s name, the parents get to choose, and if you don’t like the name they choose, then … too bad.I’ve been with my boyfriend “Anthony” for three years. We met in college and moved in together after graduation.
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