Feeling trapped by irrational fears? Try doing the opposite of what you normally would. Here's why, by Group_TherapyLA
live in self-consciousness, guessing how others view them. When stuck in self-conscious distress, I ask people to think about the opposite. “What do they think of me” can be turned around. “What do I think of them?” “Who do I want to talk to, to befriend, to kiss?” I do not tell clients to act on their thoughts necessarily. The exercise helps bring one’s curiosity from another’s point of view back to one’s own.
With these prompts, I encourage my clients to shift from the role of the observed to that of the observer, from object to subject, back to the position of I, me.Contemplating the opposite can short-circuit the anxious self-conscious voices. It is difficult to worry about who might want to sit with me, for example, if I am focused on who I desire to sit with.
Getting familiar with the opposite thoughts brings about cognitive flexibility. The more ease we have with thinking and acting in different ways, the greater our adaptability in the world and the more sense of freedom in ourselves. The result: Socially anxious people can stop their chaotic and paranoid guessing: What is that person thinking? And instead, listen to their own experiences.When a big event is coming, a wedding, travel plans, a speech, people often imagine that the worst will happen. They fret about all the things that could go wrong, they catastrophize. This is a sure way to feel terrible.
Employing Opposite Action: Reduce Destructive Impulses: In DBT Therapy, Dialectal Behavioral Therapy, lies a crafty tool called “opposite action.” This can help those who tend to act out in destructive or sabotaging ways. These clients are encouraged to choose the opposite action of what their emotions desire. Someone who is very angry and has the urge to yell, insult, or hurt another chooses instead to speak softly and kindly.
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