In an interview with TIME in early May—her first since she resurfaced online—Alyx Weiss appears visibly nervous. 'What I was doing in Peru is not a cult,' she says
followed. For four and a half months, she remained dark on social media and offered no explanation for her disappearance.
Second, she wants to address those who were critical of her April video. Some thought the lighthearted tone of her explanation was flippant considering fans’ months of genuine concern for her. Others felt she simply waited too long. “People were upset that it took me so long to speak out,” she tells TIME. “I was worried about revealing this part of myself to my audience and rightfully so, it didn’t necessarily go well.
She was alerted to the rumors swirling around her when her friends texted her during the retreat. Did she think that none of her 1.7 million subscribers would worry about whether she was OK? “I never intended to make anyone worry,” she tells TIME. “I know I am simply trying to be as authentic as possible. I have nothing to hide, and I’m more than willing to admit where I went wrong during this whole journey.
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