All the latest entertainment coverage from The Onion, America's finest news source.
You’ll once again fall for the oldest trick in the book this week, moments after picking up a copy of the King James Bible.Your body will soon go through a series of new and exciting changes, thanks in large part to the amazing reconstructive work of Dr. Howard Rosenthall.Remember: It’s always a good idea to wait at least 30 minutes before going ahead and defecating in the pool.Your big mouth will get you in a lot of trouble this week, though it’s actually your small jaw that’ll be to blame.
Life may seem like one big game to you, which explains the little plastic tokens, the six-sided dice, and your repeated utterances of “sorry!”Due to adverse weather conditions and severe delays, your next stop this evening will no longer be “Party Town!”Take the stars’ word for it: That guy Dave from work really has it coming.You’ll have a hard time controlling yourself this week, but then that’s what the serene-looking men in lab coats are here for.
South Africa Latest News, South Africa Headlines
Similar News:You can also read news stories similar to this one that we have collected from other news sources.
Your Horoscope for the Week of March 9This week, it's all about purging what's been weighing you down—both emotionally and physically.
Read more »
Madame Clairevoyant: Horoscopes for the Week of March 9Start your week by checking out your horoscope
Read more »
Why Warren Buffett’s 2008 message to American investors was timed perfectly: Morning BriefWhy Warren Buffett’s 2008 message to American investors was timed perfectly via SamRo
Read more »
5 things to know for March 10: Economy, coronavirus, 2020 Dems, royals, horse racingHere's what else you need to know to Get Up to Speed and Out the Door.
Read more »
TooFab's Week in Celebrity Photos: March 1 - March 7Katy Perry's baby bump makes its public debut during the 2020 ICC Women's T20 World Cup Media Opportunity at Melbourne Cricket Ground on March 07, 2020 in Melbourne, Australia.
Read more »
A+E Networks Shifts From Live to Virtual Upfronts as Coronavirus PrecautionA+E Networks is scrapping its live upfront presentation as a precaution in the wake of the coronavirus epidemic
Read more »