All the latest entertainment coverage from The Onion, America's finest news source.
We don’t get to choose the person we fall in love with, as is obvious from the human pile of garbage you’ll be following around with roses and candy this week.They say if you don’t stand for something, you’ll fall for anything, which is good enough for people who aren’t going to have their legs taken off by a road grader this week.Now that you take a closer look at what’s on display, you can tell exactly why the emperor has no clothes. I mean, Jesus Christ.
You have to stop worrying about what everyone else says, especially nonsense like “You should dress better,” “Nice people don’t do that,” and “Put down the gun and release the hostages.”You’ve always thought of yourself as the ultimate cat person, but you’ll change your mind this week after meeting the seven feet of man and whiskers that is Big Meow Johnson.You will soon make a comfortable living exploiting other people’s deep-seated anxieties and crippling fears.
South Africa Latest News, South Africa Headlines
Similar News:You can also read news stories similar to this one that we have collected from other news sources.
Madame Clairevoyant: Horoscopes for the Week of July 29Think about everything you’ve learned in this strange past month, and let it guide you as you begin to move forward again
Read more »
TV Shows to Watch the Week of July 29, 2019: ‘Jane the Virgin’ Series FinaleWelcome back to Tune In: our weekly newsletter offering a guide to the best of the week’s TV. Each week, Variety’s TV team combs through the week’s schedule, selecting our picks of what to watch an…
Read more »
5 things to know for July 30: Capital One, Gilroy victims, Pakistan, Italy stabbingHere are 5 things you need to know to get up to speed and out the door
Read more »
National Chicken Wing Day 2019: Get free wings, lasagna deals July 29
Read more »
Shark Week 2019 Delves Deep Into The Importance Of Conserving Shark Species WorldwideShark Week 2019 aims to dispel the fear associated with sharks and to teach people why they are so important to the oceans and planet overall.
Read more »
South Korea July exports seen contracting again on trade, chip sector woes: Reuters pollSouth Korean exports probably fell in July for the eighth month in a row, but at...
Read more »