''You Hurt My Feelings' is a story about moderately happy people, pretty good at holding everything together, until they hit a speed bump, a crisis revolving around the risks of honesty,' writes szacharek
is the great poet of microannoyances. She’s attuned to those little things that bother you about people, aggravations so splinterlike you can’t quite explain why they bug you so much. She also understands that the best qualities of humans often dovetail with the very things that drive you crazy about them, even—or maybe especially—within a marriage.
Julia Louis-Dreyfus is Beth, a writer with a reasonably well-received memoir under her belt and a teaching gig at the New School. She has recently turned in another book, a novel this time, and she hasn’t heard back from her agent. Fretfully, she asks her psychiatrist husband Don if that means her agent doesn’t like the book.
Beth’s sister, Sarah , tries to calm her, assuring her that Don couldn’t possibly have meant what he said—or maybe he sort of did, but that’s not the end of the world either. Yet as Beth nurses her hurt feelings and muted anger, everyone around her vibrates with their own anxieties: Sarah, an interior decorator, is dealing with a persnickety client who wrinkles her nose at every single classy light fixture she hauls in.
That’s just one of the movie’s many lived-in details. It was also a stroke of genius to cast the enchantingly dry Jeannie Berlin as Sarah and Beth’s mother, the type of woman who donates a blouse to charity only to later try to get it back. And Beth and Don’s apartment, even though they’re clearly well-paid, well-educated professionals, is realistically New York-scaled—which is to say, it’s small.
There’s also the way Beth professes delight as she opens an anniversary gift from Don that she clearly doesn’t like much, a pair of leaf-shaped earrings. “They’re leaves!” he announces brightly, outing himself as the kind of husband who has no idea what to buy his wife, no matter how close they are. She’s not so great at choosing for him, either. But in Holofcener’s world, even bad presents can ultimately bring people together.
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