Wretched Outcast Woman With Combination Skin Forever Trapped Between Dry And Oily Worlds

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Wretched Outcast Woman With Combination Skin Forever Trapped Between Dry And Oily Worlds
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BROOKLYN—Doomed to wander the Earth imprisoned by a complexion requiring both mattifying and hydrating products, sources confirmed Monday that wretched outcast of a woman Hattie Jean was forever trapped between the realms of the dry and the oily due to her accursed combination skin. “No matter where I go, whether…

Doomed to wander the Earth imprisoned by a complexion requiring both mattifying and hydrating products, sources confirmed Monday that wretched outcast of a woman Hattie Jean was forever trapped between the realms of the dry and the oily due to her accursed combination skin.

“No matter where I go, whether high-end makeup counter or local drugstore, I’ll never be truly greasy enough or purely flakey enough to truly belong,” said the 31-year-old who was cursed by a tragic accident of birth to spend the rest of her unbalanced cutaneous life marooned between moisturizing and exfoliating. “When I walk the skin care aisle, women gawk at the dull glisten of my T-zone and the angry red splotches of my cheeks, and they shudder in disgust.

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