Why This Couples' Therapist Doesn't Believe The Myth That 'People Can't Change'

Here, therapist kathrynfordmd shares three powers for positive change. 📈

Couples often ask me,"Can people really change?"

Three things cause us to doubt our ability to change: old ideas about the brain, narrow ideas about who we really are, and not understanding enough about how we can create change.The belief that growth, learning, and change happen only in children is still hanging around and influences our expectations of what is possible. Often what we mean when we say that people don't change is that we do not expect people to continue growing and learning past a certain age.

says,"The brain is the organ whose mission is to constantly change itself." In 1992 Richard Davidson, a neuroscientist at the University of Wisconsin–Madison proposed the termThis expectation that we stop learning and changing is both wrong and a recipe for unhappiness. George Vaillant, in his famous 60-year study of adult development, found that happiness and health in adults were correlated with learning and growth.

But without the inspiration of the vision, the hard work of a relationship is too hard to sustain without exhaustion and

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