When kids feel out of control, they need their parents to respond calmly. Spanking is the opposite of this — and hugely counterproductive. Here are some workarounds for lowering the temperature when your child’s unwanted behaviors make you want to explode.
, explains that when a parent loses control emotionally, the message they are sending to their child is this: Calm me down!Children with ADHD already feel out of control much of the time. They can’t get themselves to do what’s expected of them, and that’s super frustrating to them. But spanking and yelling reinforce their sense of powerlessness. It also sends a message that it’s OK to take frustration out on someone else, physically or emotionally.
Because of this developmental delay, changing your mindset about unwanted behaviors helps you set realistic expectations and respond calmly, sending a message that kids withneed. Can you accept that your child’s difficult behaviors are not likely something they can completely control? We want our children to feel understood and accepted, to know that we understand that it can be difficult for them to behave appropriately, and that we’re going to help them learn to do that over time. We also want kids to see that, when we get frustrated, we can stay calm and exercise self-control; this will help them learn to practice self-control.These four strategies will help you set appropriate behavioral expectations and begin to calm things down for everyone, starting with you.
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