Society’s definition of beauty is unrealistic. Melissa used to use the cruelest words when writing about herself, now Melissa has learned to love herself from head to toe 👏👏
I recently started re-reading some of my old journals. I like to do this from time to time because I usually find myself seeing my past in a new light that teaches me something, especially as I get older.
To say that I was stunned as I read what I had to say about myself is an understatement. But when I thought about it through the lens of my disability, I suppose it was inevitable that I would struggle with feelings of self-worth and loving myself, especially in the face of our society’s toxic beauty standards., a genetic bone and muscular disorder.
But no amount of surgeries or hospital stays could have prepared me to face life outside those white walls. Inside the hospital, I felt safe and accepted, but outside the hospital? Well, that was a completely different story. It’s a story that I’ve only just begun to unpack in the last few years. It’s a story about identity and how our society views disabled people. And, ultimately, it’s a story of a society that is harsh and unforgiving and toxic when it comes to beauty standards.
Even worse, social media has only fueled the pressure to be perfect. These days, I can’t even open Instagram without seeing this quest for perfection play out in real time. People share their reality in photos and reels and the temptation to “touch up” that reality has never been stronger. A photo filter here and a full face of makeup there and — poof — reality isn’t reality anymore. Sure, I’ve found myself using a filter to get better lighting or to make my face glow.
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