SINGAPORE - One night in 2022, office administrator Natalie (not her real name) heard banging sounds against the wall while her neighbours were arguing, and thought they were throwing things in anger. But when the 45-year-old peeked out of her window into the family’s flat, she was stunned to see that what her neighbour was throwing against the wall was...
Natalie was stunned to see her neighbour throwing his wife against the wall during an argument in 2022.SINGAPORE - One night in 2022, office administrator Natalie heard banging sounds against the wall while her neighbours were arguing, and thought they were throwing things in anger.
The National Anti-Violence and Sexual Harassment Helpline also noted more calls, with 10,800 made in 2022, up from 8,400 in 2021. In Natalie’s case, she said she didn’t call the police as she was afraid of the possible repercussions for her neighbour’s family. “I didn’t really know how to help, especially if she didn’t want to accept it. It’s easy for me to tell her to leave her husband, but who am I to say that?”
He cited the case of Sarah who heard screams coming from a flat on the floor above her unit. She climbed onto a chair and put her phone close against the ceiling to record an audio clip.TCS, of which Sarah is a beneficiary, visited her neighbour’s unit after receiving the audio clip. After speaking to social workers, the woman eventually made a police report. TCS said it did not know if the case has been resolved.
On the mindset change that is needed, Prof Faishal said: “There is a Malay saying – ‘jangan jaga tepi kain orang’, which means to not pay mind to other people’s business. In our culture, we tend to be shy to intervene because we don’t want to interfere in family matters. Her son, who was a victim of family violence by his father growing up, was now abusing his wife and kids. She asked Prof Faishal to help stop the cycle of violence.
Mr Lim, from Touch Family Support, added: “Most people are apprehensive about stepping in because they do not want to come across as a busybody or ‘kay-poh’. MSF stepped up its efforts to encourage the public to report abuse and for survivors to seek help with its refreshed Break The Silence campaign in November 2021. It featured a hand signal as a way to seek help from the public when it is not safe to verbally do so.
She said: “Maybe I wouldn’t call the police, unless it was a case of physical abuse, but I would definitely reach out to social workers and family service centres to check on the family. If you put yourself in their shoes, you would want someone to help you too.”
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