There’s no denying how difficult knowing what to say to someone who has lost a loved one can be
. People may fear saying something that could make the situation worse so they avoid saying anything at all.”This lack of response, says Opher, may make the person who is grieving feel that their loss is being minimized or brushed aside. If you find yourself feeling this way, though, Opher says you can say so. Because that alone can effectively convey support. “You can say, ‘I don’t really know what to say, but I’m so sorry for your loss,’” she says.
“I know I cannot know all that you are going through, but I am with you and want to be a support in whatever way is needed.”There are a few phrases you may have heard in the past that probably won’t be received the way you hope, the experts say. Those include things like:“God has a plan… .”“They’re out of their pain and in a better place.”
And, saying the person who has passed wouldn’t want them to be said is another phrase not to say to someone grieving. “Don't minimize someone's feelings,” Morin says. “It's okay for them to feel whatever they are feeling.” Again, it’s okay if you don’t know exactly what to say to someone who has lost a loved one. But taking your cues from them and acknowledging what has happened in the right moment can go a long way toward giving them a little comfort during this tough time.Someone who has lost a loved one will need support beyond the initial loss, which is why Morin encourages checking in on them regularly. The ideal frequency for checking in comes down to the relationship you have with them.
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