Please enjoy both screaming and hearing “Get off the phone!” every day of your pubescent life.
,” by Jane Deverson and Charles Hamblett, which was published in 1964? This is the kind of tautological argument full of deep-cut cultural references that you can expect to have for the rest of your miserable life.
You will travel to and from school on your own and will develop the fine-tuned instincts of a jungle cat. You’ll probably get beaten up a lot or will beat up others a lot, and you know who you’re not going to tell?. You will go missing for hours on end, and it won’t even register with your parents that you’re gone. They might have had you but that doesn’t mean they want to see you.
You will probably see “Grease” when it comes out because, well, you have to. That’s your one chance. You will be rewarded mightily by “Grease,” which will feature filthy lyrics, such as “The chicks’ll cream,” that won’t actually register. It will also deliver the most powerful lesson of your Gen X-girl life—if you want to get a guy, you’ll need to change absolutely everything about yourself, start smoking, and dress like a sex worker.
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