One cancer survivor explains how she's learning to reconnect with her sexual self
, which takes a look inside the sex lives of women at pivotal points in their relationships and lives, Red hears from Fay Field. Fay was diagnosed with breast cancer in 2018 and, after successful treatment, thankfully received the all-clear a few months later. Here, she explains how she's learning to reconnect with her sexual self – and her husband – after cancer...
– and what you want, too. Infatuation turned to deeper, committed love. We learned the ropes of adulthood together, and I always felt comfortable with him. He made me feel good about myself, too; I felt more attractive being with him.We got married when I was 23. Our relationship was natural and easy, our sex life fulfilling. Life was simple.We were happy. But then, in April 2018, I found a large lump in my left breast. And just like that, our sense of normality was shattered.
When the bad days struck, I was completely honest with Steve. It was the best thing I could have done. I told him that I felt anxious that I was no longer the woman he’d signed up for. He was steadfast in his support, but I felt broken and fragile, my body confidence completely diminished. I wondered if I was still enough for him.I worried about sex a lot. I felt so horrendously ill throughout treatment that I simply couldn’t contemplate any kind of intimacy.
bedroom. I knew Steve would have waited for me for as long as it took, but my stubbornness kicked in – I refused to be a patient for ever. I couldn’t cuddle Steve properly, but I could hug him from behind and put my arm around him, or just stroke his hand. The smallest moments of intimacy felt precious and powerful; my love somehow more intense than before.
I am a new version of myself, but I am learning to like that version, too. I saw this in Steve when I came back from a run a few months after treatment. He looked up as I came in, flushed and happy, and I caught the spark of desire in his eyes. I knew, at that moment, that I was emerging from the darkness, becoming a bolder, brighter version of myself.
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