What if my 4-year-old son is gay like me?— familysaboutluv PrideMonth
are girls, but I was still a bit surprised by this. Then out of my mouth came these words “You can’t only have girls at your birthday party!” Why would I say this? How did I become my mother in that moment? I had spent years being upset with her for not just letting me be friends with whom I wanted, and here I am telling my son he has to invite boys to his party. I pressed him for a bit to find out why he only wanted girls and not boys.
This conversation should have ended there, and it did for Milo but not for me. I mean Milo could just be emulating his Daddy and Papa, after all we have lots of women in our lives. But I needed more answers and I spent many hours thinking about why it bothered me so much that Milo was only friends with the girls, especially after all those years of feeling bad about it myself. Was it that my mother had drilled the ideas so far in my head that she somehow brainwashed me? I don’t think so.
What Milo does have though is his Daddy and Papa; two open-minded and very supportive parents. I remembered the first thing I said to Milo when he was born, wiping the tears away from my eyes after holding him next to my heart I said, “I will always love you no matter what, and no matter who you are!”
I need to remember just because life is “easier” it is not always better. I am so happy that I didn’t go the easy route, and though it took me a bit longer than others to accept myself I am happier for it. I want Milo to be happy no matter what, and whether he is gay or straight or somewhere in between, I will always be here to love him, whether his friends are girls or boys!
Frankie Nelson is a Toronto-based dad, teacher, author and blogger. This essay was originally published on
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