Jessica Goudeau explores how we can confront our complicated family histories without messing it up completely.
n a cool rainy afternoon in May, one of my children sat down to the play the piano. I was sitting in my favorite chair by a window I’d opened to let in the soft breeze while I finished revisions on a book. It was an increasingly rare day in our house in which no one had any plans. The pizza was ordered and the movie picked out, my husband was puttering with his plants, two of the children were playing together, and my oldest sat down at the piano bench.
Listening to my child play, I felt a jumble of emotions I couldn’t untangle: A desire to protect my kids but also help them face the truth—and fear that I would mess this up completely. That’s the kind of ancestral pivot I wish I could claim, I told my mom, but I cannot. My fifth-great-grandfather did not change his mind like his preacher. Identifying Slowman’s views as awful is only the first step of many; of course enslaving other humans is wrong.
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