'It’s important to remember that gaslighting is not present every time there is a conflict, and someone feels strongly about their point of view and rejects another’s.'
Gaslighting is a psychological manipulation that undermines the reality of the gaslight, causing them to question their reality or sense of self.To stop a gaslighting dynamic, opt out of the power struggle with phrases like "we are going to have to agree to disagree."has become a familiar part of too many of our day-to-day interactions.
But two years into the pandemic, a difference emerged that had strained their relationship. As businesses reopened and mask mandates loosened, Shoshanna started traveling again, eating indoors, and shedding a mask. Leslie is only comfortable with Zoom meetings, meets with others outdoors, and remains vigilant about masking. The sisters don’t see eye-to-eye on pandemic safety measures and have failed to reach mutual accommodation. They’ve become judgmental of one another.
Both sisters feel strongly about their position and are equally engaged in the debate. Sometimes, feelings get hurt, as when Shoshana says to Leslie, “You’re wrong, and you don’t care about my family or me.” The sisters disagree, but Shoshana is not gaslighting her sister. Let’s say Leslie is the older sister, and, growing up, there was a power dynamic in which Leslie set the rules and pushed Shoshana around. Shoshana then might be vulnerable to Leslie gaslighting her in adulthood. If Shoshana starts to believe that she really is a selfish person, second-guesses herself, and begins to withdraw from the relationship, then the sisters are dancing the gaslight tango.
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