'With an hourly rate for care at around £40, we know we were very lucky to have been able to afford it. Without our brilliant carer, he wouldn't have made it out alive,' on paying for her father's care 🖋️ sarahecoles
‘We paid a carer £40 an hour so dad got water in hospital – plugging the gaps of a broken system is expensive’
Fortunately, my dad had a few things on his side. He had always made his wishes well known to us – so we knew he didn’t want us to become his carers and we knew he wanted to be at home. He had also set upwell before he fell ill: one covering health matters and one for financial issues, so we were able to spend his savings on getting things right at home.
And on top of that we had to cover the additional costs of the care the NHS decided he didn’t need – like using the wet-room they insisted we installed, and covering longer breaks for the live-in carer to have enough sleep, which added an extra £3,900 a month to the cost of care. Then there was all the household administration: ensuring food was delivered, the house was cleaned and the garden cared for – plus the cost of these services, which came in at over £300 a month. It’s not hard to see why so many people who take on the care of an elderly relative feel they have to give up work or go part time – so only a third of them end up working full time.
We decided to appeal the decision, and after weeks of deliberation they reversed it. However, we then had to go through the same process each year, in the knowledge it could be taken away at any time. It’s easy to see why those who are refused feel they have no alternative but to pay for care themselves.
Sandwich caring for dad and for our families was a massive undertaking. We were constantly driving up and down the motorway to see him, often twice a week. When the cost of petrol soared, this became an issue in itself, because suddenly I needed to find an extra £300 in my monthly budget. We would spend hours driving there, hours keeping up a one-way conversation with him, and then drive for hours to get home again.
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