If 'there’s fucking man-eating Nile crocodiles in Florida now' isn't all over the radio soon, what are we even doing here?
On TikTok, Morris set to music one of the goofiest bits from last night’s episode, when Schwartz went looking for some sympathy from his ex-wife. Maloney, of course, had no sympathy to give as she grilled Schwartz about how long he’d known about the affair, and how he may have even helped cover it up by making out with Leviss at Scheana Shay’s wedding as some kind of bizarre, psycho-sexual diversionary tactic.
After flailing, gaslighting, and insisting he’s not Sandoval’s “bitch boy,” Schwartz was hit with the cold truth that — as Maloney put it — he was set to lose a lot of friends as a result of his actions and association with Sandoval. At this moment, Schwartz, maybe kinda sorta seeing the cold, harsh writing on the wall , came up with some real reality TV sad sack poetry: “I’m just a dude trying to get by in life.
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