LIVE BY DESIGN | Triumph and legacy in the wake of loss
Live by Design is a weekly News24 column by Dr Helena Dolny and Mapi Mhlangu on mortality and the conversations around it. This week, guest columnist Bhekisisa Mncube makes a case for respecting the will of the departed, for their last wishes carry the weight of their life.My late big brother’s daughter, Zama Mncube, has fulfilled a prophecy, a dream, and a joint plan we had with my late best friend.
Days before he died from 47 knife wounds inflicted by thugs for a mere R800 Nokia phone, he sought my help. He said,"If I die, find Zama and reunite her with the family. Bring Nsiko home. Leave Professor with his mother; I trust her."Sadly, Zama, set to graduate with her master's degree in May, was effectively abandoned as a child. The intention may not have been deliberate, but the outcome was the same. She grew up without a father or access to the paternal side of the family.
She persevered and passed her first year. We struggled through undergraduate levels together, including her dealing with a sex pest who wanted sex in exchange for a room on campus. I hounded the sex pest out of Durban University of Technology , and out of Durban. We managed to bring Nsiko home earlier. Despite the odds against her, including having to repeat matric, she successfully completed a TVET course in farming management. She now works in the retail sector as a deputy supervisor for fruit and vegetables at Boxer supermarket stores.
I am not anxious about my so-called biological children; my eldest son, Wandile, needs no support as he is a candidate attorney. My youngest daughter, Nonku, is in her second year at the University of Cape Town, studying for a BA degree in English literature and computer sciences and thoroughly enjoying her life there.
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