To the generally well-intentioned men in my life, please consider this.
I got a promotion a few days ago, so I decided to stop for a drink on my way home — just me and my sense of accomplishment. I ended up alone in bar, running defense against a bouncer who held my ID hostage while he commented on my ass , and asked me vaguely threatening questions about my sex life.
I have a friend who once joked that it was all right for him to catcall women because he’s good looking. I had another ask me in faux-outrage why it was okay for me to describe a cupcake as a “seven,” but not okay for him to rank women the same way. I was recently at a house party where a group of guys referred to a soundproofed recording studio in the basement as “the rape room,” like forty-five times. Some of these jokes were a little funny; some of them really weren’t.
Decent male humans, this is not your fault, but it also does not have nothing to do with you. If a woman is frosty or standoffish or doesn’t laugh at your joke, consider the notion that maybe she is not an uptight, humorless bitch, but rather has had experiences that are outside your realm of understanding, and have adversely colored her perception of the world.
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