Families are created in all different ways. Here’s how to teach your child to embrace their own story.
While many parents envision having this conversation with older children down the road, experts advise kicking things off right in the womb. “I instruct [gestational carriers] to start talking to baby during gestation,” says, LCSW, a social worker and infertility resource counselor based in Kansas City. She suggests a script such as, “Your parents wanted to have a baby, and they weren’t able to carry you. They asked me if I would, and it’s been my pleasure. I look forward to you meeting [them].
“If you tell your child their story right from the beginning, you never have to sit them down and tell them—it’s never a shock,” Bergman says. After all, waiting until kids get older gives them a chance to create false assumptions about where they came from—assumptions you’ll then have to correct.There’s another perk to introducing the concept of surrogacy early: It equips young children with background knowledge to ask questions when they become able.
Always start from the beginning of a child’s story when you tell it—that is, that they were deeply desired by their parents, who needed some help to bring them into the world. “It’s easier to have that build up so the child always knows they were wanted no matter what it took for them to get here,” Prosbasco says.
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