As he shook the glitter from his jacket and tried desperately to look like a man of the people, Sir Keir Starmer promised to make a bonfire of the nation’s planning regulations. But there is another pyre someone should put a match to right now and that’s bonfire night itself.
You might think it’s a fortnight too early to be worrying about this but not so, and that’s precisely the problem. In many parts of Yorkshire – perhaps in your neighbourhood – it’s already impossible to get through the night without being woken by fizzes, bangs and Neanderthal noises from people who still think playing with fire is amusing. Firework Night has become a whole season that starts before the mince pies go on sale at Morrisons and doesn’t end until the Easter eggs arrive in January.
Those companies would now be the very ones to benefit from banning the sale of fireworks to all and sundry. They would gain a monopoly on owning them. But the industry as a whole has built a business model on shifting as many selection boxes as possible through every available off-licence, garden centre and pound shop. Asking them to restrict their sale is like telling Rowntree’s to ration fruit gums.
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