The Profoundly Upsetting Truth About Platypuses

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The Profoundly Upsetting Truth About Platypuses
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“It sucks how, as soon as you learn this, you have to tell everyone you know, and then they ask you to stop talking about it because it’s ‘upsetting,’ and you try to stop, you really do, but then you can’t help yourself,” writes mmaggeler

Milky boy. Photo: Getty Images Look, I’m sorry to do this to you, but I refuse to stay silent any longer. I lived in the dark for so many years. I was happy then, splashing around in the cold, dank recesses of my own ignorance. I didn’t know what I didn’t know, and so what I didn’t know couldn’t hurt me. And then, a few weeks ago, when I finally saw the glaring light of the truth, it was so blinding and terrible that I yearned to return to the shadows, where I had been safe.

They secrete milk from specialised mammary glands, just like humans and other mammals. But platypuses don’t have teats, so the milk just oozes from the surface of their skin. This makes it look like sweat, but in fact platypuses are aquatic and don’t produce regular sweat at all. And here, a video about platypuses that includes an absolutely chilling graphic of a beautiful mother platypus leaking her milk all over her tummy while a little baby platypus in a backward baseball cap laps it up.I don’t know, man.

I don’t want to shame the platypuses out there, who are otherwise very cute and interesting. I think it’s so cool how they look like a mix of a beaver and a duck, and how they use electroreception to hunt, and that the male’s little ankle spurs are venomous. That all rules. But the oozing milk sweat is just a bridge too far for me. I feel worse for knowing about it, and I wish I didn’t.

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