Being a people-pleaser can be bad news for you and your colleagues. Here's how to change that.
Many of us have people-pleasing tendencies that tend to come out strongest in our jobs. If you’re someone who takes on more than they can handle, shows up to work even if you don’t feel well, or avoids raising legitimate concerns or asking for help when you need it, you might be a people pleaser.– when you feel pressure to present as the most positive, least demanding version of yourself, regardless of how you’re feeling on the inside.
“Saying ‘no’ is considered rude by some people, although there are constructive ways to say it. People also avoid things such as asking for a promotion because they don’t want to be seen as difficult.” There’s an additional level at play: we often attach a lot of self-worth to our work. “People pleasers depend on pleasing others. They want to seem reliable, helpful and super competent, with the hope their work will be highly regarded and rewarded in the future.”Taking on a task with a short-term deadline when you know you already have a queue of tasks that will not be completed without a major sacrifice.
Focus on the value you want to bring to the company, she adds. If you aren’t assertive, your work might become low quality. “You’ll be exhausted, tired, unhappy, and not a pleasure to work with.”“Communicate in a positive and constructive way,” she says. “Pay attention to how you deliver your point. Saying no does not mean you have to sound rude in any conversation. There is a difference between setting a boundary and being unhelpful and unempathetic when your team is in need.
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