Here are just some of the ways that physical touch can benefit a relationship
Modern American culture may discourage non-sexual touch.
Sounds simple, doesn’t it? Well, it is. But it is also emotional. After about a five-minute mindful hug, partners put their foreheads together and talk. They talk about what emotions arose for them, what anxieties they experienced, and if something was irritating or sweet. We noticed the same couples sitting closer to each other, continuing the touch as the class moved on.
These claims are well-documented in research studies[ii] [iii] that help us understand some of our own cultural problems. Something as easy as holding a hand can lower blood pressure[iv]. No prescription is needed for a hug that can reduceThis is great news because touch has no harmful side effects. However, in a touch-averse culture like ours, we may struggle to embrace this easy solution.
As you process the tension with your partner, see if you can genuinely respond with a compassionate touch. Place your hand on their hand and notice if you are calmed and if your partner is calmed by this simple act. This may be an easy way to deescalate the tension. When couples deescalate tension, they are more likely to be able to solve the problem or find common ground even with different perspectives[vi].
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