Everyone has the 'fifty-shades of grey' friend - but what if you just love old fashioned vanilla sex?
, a busy job and a long to-do list. I like sex to be mutually satisfying, loving and quick. I want it after brushing my teeth and before I go to sleep. I’ve been with my partner for 12 years. When we got together, we were happy with lazy morning shags and drunken fumbles, but I remember saying to him, probably in a bid to get him to propose, that our sex wouldIn truth, I was a little prudish and was putting the fancy stuff off.
. But what I was never told was that good sex can often be vanilla sex. I decided to write a book about this, looking back at sex guides from the ’90s, when I was a teenager. The tips were horrendous: all athletic positions and what to wear to look alluring.For me, long bonking sessions and lots of positions mean nothing if I can't orgasm. Maybe I don’t have much stamina. Maybe I get bored and start thinking about my to-do list.
. ‘Date night’ puts too much pressure on having a great time and fabulous sex at the end, whereas in reality we worry about how much the babysitter is costing, then pass out in a food-and-wine coma. And there was no point in splurging on sexy underwear when my pelvic floor was weak and sex hurt. I’ve learned that I don’t need to pretend to want to bounce around the bedroom to have satisfying sex. It’s about knowing my body and what turns me on and getting over myself so that I can communicate that to my partner. I’ve learned that some lube and a session with a women’s health physio goes a lot further than a weekend away, and is a damn sight cheaper.
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