Sometimes I find myself caught in a middle space between my own ignorance and the lived experience of those I meet. It opens my mind to different world views and ways of life, Christina Janssens writes
First Person is a daily personal piece submitted by readers. Have a story to tell? See our guidelines atI leave the recorder rolling with a lump in my throat. My job is to collect stories from people who come to the Scott Mission in downtown Toronto. We are tucked away in a dingy corner cubicle. She is crying, and her groceries are at our feet in a clear plastic garbage bag. I have known this woman for less than five minutes.
The assistance clients of the Mission receive, such as clothes and food, is similar, but the stories always chip into new places of my heart with the often unfair circumstances that draw them here. It is my job to bear witness to these stories for the public relations department, recording them diligently on my phone. I have listened to dozens of them. Many pour out in broken English.
When the interview is over, she picks up her groceries and leaves to brave the freezing temperatures outside. Her breath escapes her body in white puffs. I sit back in my desk chair. I think about a moment, earlier in the day, when a woman asked me quietly if I could give her a black garbage bag so no one would see that she was carrying groceries through the clear garbage bag. I see dignity and shame clash too often these days.
As I leave the Mission later that day, stepping out into the freezing air with my brand-name backpack hitched over my down-filled parka, I think about the responsibility of knowing. I mull over this because my privilege looks me in the eye on a daily basis. My boyfriend’s family immigrated to Canada from Afghanistan when he was too young to remember. His skin and hair, olive and dark, warmly contrast my pasty white skin and dirty blonde hair.
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