'I thought about buying my wife a car for Christmas and then I remembered we don't live in a commercial.'
— Yard Dad I loaned the neighbor our extension cord, only I hadn’t coiled it before putting it away so it was one big knot and now my husband says we have to moveMy husband thinks I’m ridiculous for refusing to answer the door when someone comes over unannounced but I’m like, sir, I was a latchkey kid. It is ingrained in me to duck, cover, and hold my breath until they stop knocking and leave.
This is the support group I didn't know I needed.Let’s get married and have kids so instead of enjoying a glass of wine and a movie you can watch Peppa’s Christmas for the 86th time while I go outside and figure out why the giant inflatable Santa isn’t blowing up.My husband let the dog outside, watched out the window to make sure he was out of ear range then turned to me and whispered “I got him a new chew rope for Christmas.
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