The £45.50 all-you-can-eat menu with a slightly stressful time limit

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The £45.50 all-you-can-eat menu with a slightly stressful time limit
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The 'bougie' spot on Bridge Street is a lot

Things that should be done on the clock include the 100m, the 200m, the 400m, the 800m, the 1500m… you get the idea with that. Things that should not be done under the pressure of a stopwatch include having dinner.

As a 12-year-old, she slips in under the wire of SakkuSamba’s all-you-can-eat pricing structure, paying £17.95. Adults pay a more robust £45.50 , but they’ve not seen her put sushi away. She’d eat her own big toe if it was wrapped in rice and seaweed and lashed with soy sauce. Then you’re locked out for, I think, 12 minutes before you can order another four each. I can’t recall exactly because at this stage I’m like a sprinter in the blocks and I’ve stopped listening. It might have been 10 minutes.

Something about the all-you-can-eat premise immediately makes you cautious. What’s the deal? Where’s the scam at? Will all the food arrive in half an hour, eating into my eating time? Again, they arrive expediently enough. They are sadly not good. The picanha - a superb cut generally, with a joyous layer of fat over the top - did not deserve this shabby treatment. It’s thin, grey and overcooked, and again, barely a grain of salt on it.

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