Parenting columnist Sarah Sandison looks at the changes teens go through and why their bad behaviour 'isn't a disaster after all'
It’s very easy to think something’s gone terribly wrong, when you’ve got a teenager in your house who doesn’t listen to you, or follow your rules.
It’s the important process of forming a stable personality and a clear sense of self. Completely separate from anyone else. It’s during this process that young people develop a separate identity from their parents and those around them. What’s the saying? You are the average of the five people you hang out with the most. Quite frightening when you think about how porous our personalities are.
Individuation is the reason why you can take your child to ballet, piano lessons, gymnastics or tennis for years, investing thousands of hours and pounds. Only for them to suddenly turn to you and declare that they don’t want to go anymore. Perhaps they never did. Did I choose this career, partner, home, lifestyle? Or was it simply expected of me? Such doubts can breed resentment in later life.
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