‘So many babies, none of them mine’: Not having a child when you dearly want one | sianprior
who “doesn’t understand the way parents think about their children” because she “has chosen not to be a parent”.In 2011, former Labor Party leader Mark Latham said prime minister Gillard lacked empathy and was “wooden” because of her decision to remain childless – a choice which inevitably meant “you haven’t got as much love in your life”.In 2011, former Labor Party leader Mark Latham labelled Julia Gillard “wooden” because of her decision to remain childless..
If I sacrifice my desire to have a child for the sake of staying in the relationship, I might always wonder if the sacrifice was worth it. And if we break up, maybe part of me will blame Tom for my childlessness. One of the fairy tales I read as a child was called. This is what I remember: the mermaid falls in love with a human and is offered the chance to stay with him, leaving the sea and making her home on land.
An hour later I’ve forgotten the details. There will be lots of appointments and procedures, that much I gather. Appointments I can do. I keep a detailed diary, turn up for things on time. Remembering exactly what I’ll be turning up for will be harder. I’m on a bunch of arts boards and committees and there’s always an agenda to look at, a meeting to attend, grants to be awarded. Unlike climate science, the arts make me feel optimistic about humanity. But much of this activity is unpaid, and as the
My mother is silent, at a loss. She can listen to me, hold my hand, but there is nothing she can do to fix this. I’m trying to persuade myself that this is not a childlessness thing – it’s a human thing. I’m not alone in feeling alone. But how can I find a way to feel safe with my solitude? How can I convert my freedom into something positive? What choices do I have because of not getting what I most wanted?
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