New name, who dis? Rapper Shaquan Bivins slightly changed his name, but he's a whole new person.
Much has changed for Dallas rapper Shaquan Bivins since his entrance onto the local hip-hop scene. When we, his philosophy was to seek collaboration over competition, which he believed was his key to success. Though his philosophy remains, his goals and values have changed on par with an identity crisis that crept into all areas of his being, down to the spelling of his last name, previously spelled"Bivens.
“When I was young, I didn’t want to be part of that side of my family,” Bivins says of his legal last name, which he had intentionally been misspelling his entire life. “I made that decision so young. Life gets real, though, and once you got older, you start to understand things. I was asking myself why I was still doing it. For some reason, subconsciously I was still stuck on that shit.
“You’re fighting so many battles, eventually you’re just like, why am I even doing some of these things anymore?” he says. “That sort of thing wakes you up to a lot of different stuff. It changes aspects of your life, mentality. You’ve got to readjust who you are in certain ways. It took some adjusting, how I was feeling, along with those thoughts like, you still got a life, you’ve got to live.”
“Everyone was ‘big-ing’ me up, telling me it was great, and I knew I couldn’t have that many ‘yes-people' around me,” he says. “What I was looking for was people to just be genuine. I was asking people, looking for someone to tell me it just wasn’t that good. I was down on myself a lot, telling myself like, yo, I’m better than that, and people would try to build to me up, but it wasn’t of my own standard.
Becoming growingly critical of himself and the world he was in, Bivins withdrew inwardly. In his place of solitude, where many would assume artistry would be at its best, he found the opposite. The things he’d excelled at as an artist were losing their luster — social media, securing gigs, performing gigs — and draining his mental health even further.“It started to feel like, damn bro, I’m whacking a brick wall with a whiffle bat.
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