Rethinking Self-Disclosure: When Should We Tell Our Secrets?

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Rethinking Self-Disclosure: When Should We Tell Our Secrets?
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We like to think we control the personal information we share with others. But they acquire it in many ways.

Involuntary disclosures may be the most common. Inevitably, we open ourselves to the judgments of others.

Having done this exercise many times, I can report that individuals vary widely. Sometimes, respondents leave a column blank because they don’t have a relationship with a parent or don’t have a “best friend” of one sex or the other. Female students tend to have higher overall scores. The women’s total score for openness to their best female friend was higher than the male students’ openness to their best male friend.

divulge personal information as a way of building trust and facilitating exchanges with their clients. Sometimes, as in a job interview, we must answer questions—from the most general to the quite specific . Just as the prisoner can refuse to answer his captor, so we can refrain from answering. But doing so is no path to success.

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