The HRC and CCDHate found a 406% increase in anti-gay slurs. Queer therapists share their wisdom on how to set boundaries and protect your mental health.
, says. Lay out what you're going to do if their behavior or language continues to be offensive. For example,"I love you and want to go to this dinner, but I will leave if this is brought up." If it's family who you're setting boundaries with, consider bringing a buddy as a buffer. Having the conversation moderated by an affirming therapist can also be helpful in these situations.
Before taking any action, though, evaluate the relationship first. How close is this person to me?"A stranger is not worth ruining your day," she says. If it's aor good friend, though, you're probably going to care more about alerting them of their harmful behavior. Be sure to double check your physical and emotional safety levels before you speak up, because you don't want to put yourself in any danger.
Whatever you choose to do, pay attention to your nervous system during that time: whether it's breathing, going for a jog, drinking some water, screaming into a pillow — just resetting your system, Stanizai says."I think connection with the body is so important when the freedom to be who you are and love who you love is being threatened," Sulc says.
Remember, you are allowed to unfollow and mute people on social media. There are other ways to stay informed."Set aside time to keep up with the news instead of ingesting 'surprise' information," Stanizai says."It's important to be critical of where you're getting information. Anybody can make a website; a lot of sources [are] pretty biased and can sneak in homophobia and/or biphobia."Resilience is the ability to bounce back from painful experiences.
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