I used to hate hearing old people describe their aches and pains. Oh, how the tables have turned.
I know there’s a scientific process at work, something involving the punishing effects of ultraviolet light and the breakdown of collagen. But I like to think my hands — my face, my feet, my guts — are props in a long-running dramedy.Somewhere in my body there’s a writer’s room full of MFAs brainstorming the next season. Ideas are tossed out and inked on a whiteboard with a dry-erase marker.
“Did he do anything to his toe? Bought new shoes? Tripped on the treadmill? Dropped the lid of a Le Creuset Dutch oven on it?”“Goes away?”“Hmmm,” the showrunner says. “That could work. He’s telling everybody that his toe hurts, first his wife, then his friends. He describes it in detail but he never seems to be able to impress on anyone how mysterious it all is, and how symbolic. The throbbing toe is but one reminder of his mortality — of everyone’s mortality.
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