Personal Perspective: Are you "swiping left" on all the best people? Here's why you might be missing out on meeting more quality partners.
True happiness in relationships comes from shared values, kindness, and honesty, not from physical beauty.I saw an old friend last weekend . Mary is a social worker, a few years older than I, smart and witty, quietly kind, with dark hair and deep brown eyes. Like me, she is no longer young. We worked together decades ago at an inner-city hospital, and I hadn’t seen her in years.
A few hours later, Mary checked the app. “I have seven responses!” Eagerly, she began checking out the candidates, their photos lined up, one smiling older man after the next.? You haven’t looked to see if they are educated, or close to their family, like you are.” She seemed not to hear me. Finally, I sighed, prepared to share my deepest vulnerability. “Mary, you know my story. I was so badly burned as a child. I am still profoundly scarred.”
Not at all. I’m a psychologist and I hear many sad tales from clients feeling isolated, uncared for, and betrayed. “We have nothing in common,” bemoans one client. Another confides, “I think he lies to me.” Another recounts the hateful words lobbed at her during arguments. Like anyone, I notice a person’s face and figure the first moment I meet them. But within seconds, I focus on their eyes, their smile, their handshake, and their energy. Are they kind? Are they funny? Are they intelligent? Are they genuine? These qualities instantly override an attractive face.
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