A few weeks ago, I was at the nail salon getting a pedicure with a close female friend.
If this sounds familiar, understand that your attachment style is not your fault. As Sadri-Azarbayejani points out, “an anxious attachment style is generally formed in early childhood when important attachment figures are not consistently available or responsive to a child’s needs. Early experiences such as neglect, emotional or physical abuse, or inconsistent parenting can lead to an insecure attachment style.
The good news is that with commitment and care, you can heal your attachment style and become more securely attached in your relationships. In many cases, this involves seeking the help of professionals who can help you process your feelings in a safe and supportive environment. As Sadri-Azarbayejani notes, “therapy or counselling is often helpful in understanding why someone has developed an anxious attachment style as well as in learning skills to create healthier attachments with others.
Sadri-Azarbayejani adds, “it is also helpful to practice self-care, cultivate secure relationships in which one feels safe and valued, practice mindfulness and relaxation techniques to reduce anxiety, and learn how to set boundaries in relationships.”Article content Most importantly, be kind to yourself. Sadri-Azarbayejani says, “It’s important to note that attachment styles are not meant to be used as labels, but rather as a way to understand relationship dynamics and how our past experiences may shape our behaviour in current relationships.” In other words, you’re not broken or damaged if you’re anxiously attached.
Lastly, “remember that attachment styles are not a reflection of an individual’s worth or value — everyone has the potential for secure attachments regardless of their early childhood experiences,” says Sadri-Azarbayejani. As she reminds us, “as long as one is open to learning, growing and evolving, it is possible to heal anxious attachments and create more secure relationships in the future.”
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