Trey Burnette: The 2022 New Year doesn't have to be the moment you forget about your grief. - NBCNewsTHINK
The 2022 sign that will be lit on top of a building on New Year's Eve is displayed in Times Square, N.Y. on Dec. 20.There is no “new year, new you.” The turning of the calendar doesn't erase you, and especially, not your grief. Grief is always with us, and with the loss ofpeople in the United States and life as we knew it due to Covid-19, most people are grieving.
We are the same as we were on Dec. 31 at 11:59 p.m. Of course, the desire to have a fresh start is understandable, but the idea of forgetting our sadness or that life will be perfect is unhealthy because it implies there is nothing to learn from grief. Or that we have failed for not getting over it. Thinking our sorrow should vanish sets us up for disappointment. The key is to process grief and grow from it, not wish it away.
We would look at new houses and talk about moving. She talked a lot about getting a graduate degree and getting back to work when she was"better." With each year, I thought that I could fix her by loving her and adding to the fantasies of the hopeful future. I wished each new year would bring some significant shift toward happiness.
I hoped I could ease any worries that Mom was facing. As a child, that meant making New Year resolutions to be a perfect and happy kid — and not to grow up gay.
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