Royal memoir has me reflecting on the hairy issue of brotherly love
The Monks and Me: How Forty Days in Thich Nhat Hanh’s French Monastery Guided Me Home.
The bonds between the three of us have always been good, but they strengthened after the deaths of our parents. I was 28 years old when my mother died. My brothers were 29 and 38. Our father died 12 years later. Since then, there’s been an unspoken understanding that our sibling relationship is deeply valuable, and therefore untouchable.
To me, saying that baldness is “alarming” seems about as smart as saying shortness is “alarming.” And the thing about uttering a phrase such as “more advanced than mine,” when talking about such things is that comparison is a happiness-crushing, perilous activity that causes unnecessary suffering for everyone involved. Comparison also shifts the focus to the one doing
Writing about trivialities of this nature has a certain gossipy appeal but it can dilute the power of the real story: the trauma of a child losing a mother in unspeakable, horrific circumstances. Hearts genuinely ache for those who experience tragedy, but no one wants to cozy up to someone who points out other people’s flaws, perceived or actual. Writers of memoir tend to be aware of the necessity to avoid finger-pointing if true connection with others is desired.
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