FORT WAYNE, IN—Employees at Sapphire Business Solutions expressed their collective outrage Friday at the brazen conduct of sales associate Isaac Schuler, a largely unimportant staffer who’s only been with the company for maybe a month and who had the gall to take the best donut in the box for himself.
As recounted by multiple office sources, the easily dispensable Schuler took the premium donut after a selection of complimentary pastries, bagels, and beverages were made available in the office breakroom. His coworkers went on to confirm that Schuler, an employee who could be fired today and nobody would notice or care, did not deserve the prized confection.
“The way he just grabbed the donut, he acts like he’s been here forever,” said finance supervisor Marsha Callahan, emphasizing that Schuler doesn’t earn commission, doesn’t take part in the morning sales meetings, and sure as shit isn’t entitled to take any donut of his choosing at the expense of dozens of other employees higher up on the totem pole. “He could have taken one of the plain glazed ones. Or even a cruller for all I care.
“Wait, he drank one of those Simply Orange juices, too?” Callahan continued. “Not a good idea to make enemies your first few weeks on the job. Not good at all.”According to numerous Sapphire employees, the egregiousness of Schuler’s breach of workplace etiquette was compounded by the fact that the nonessential employee remains unaware of the flagrant nature of his error.
“Look at that smug fuck over there, munching on his donut without a care in the world,” said operations director Nathan Brunner, who alongside his peers was covertly glaring at Schuler as he blissfully enjoyed the ill-gotten pastry at his desk. “The good donuts are for important people, and he is not important. I am important.”At press time, Sapphire employees had just about lost their shit upon watching the inconsequential cocksucker stroll back to the breakroom and grab a second donut.
South Africa Latest News, South Africa Headlines
Similar News:You can also read news stories similar to this one that we have collected from other news sources.
‘Swamp Thing’ was canceled, but fear not: Its first season will still airWell, that was fast: DC Universe's 'Swamp Thing' has been canceled after one season (and not even a week since it debuted to positive reviews).
Read more »
Retaliation will not resolve the world's trade conflict, expert saysNations need to cooperate to overcome their differences instead of resorting to retaliatory measures that hurt global growth, an international trade expert told CNBC on Friday.
Read more »
France did not come out well in FCA-Renault deal: Italy's Di MaioItaly's Industry Minister Luigi Di Maio blamed the French state for deraili...
Read more »
Believe it or not, using an iPod touch in 2019 is a lot of funApple new iPod touch is aimed at users who don't have an iPhone.
Read more »
Former HP boss Whitman says 'not protecting herself' in Autonomy fraud allegationFormer Hewlett-Packard boss Meg Whitman denied on Thursday she was trying to pro...
Read more »
ICE does not know how many veterans it has deported, watchdog findsUS Immigration and Customs Enforcement does not know exactly how many noncitizen veterans it has deported over the last five years, according to a federal watchdog group
Read more »