SCHAUMBURG, IL—In a turn of events that has stunned the worldwide medical community, local infant Nathan Jameson, born just six days ago, has become the youngest person ever to permanently and irrevocably lose all faith in humanity.
SCHAUMBURG, IL—In a turn of events that has stunned the worldwide medical community, local
“Considering he already comprehends harsh realities that many people spend their entire fleeting, shallow existences attempting to deny,Though he has not yet developed the capacity for speech, extensive cognitive testing has definitively shown that the shockingly perceptive 6-day-old fully understands and accepts that human beings cannot be trusted, that they remain far too ignorant for their opinions to be reliable, that a lack of self-awareness about their own destructive tendencies pervades...
“For a baby, he sure is an insightful little guy,” Nathan’s mother, Melanie Jameson, told reporters. “My husband and I are a loveless, narcissistic couple whose weird, freaked-out neediness and anxieties—which we sublimate under a mask of facile self-regard—would normally be introjected into our child’s forming psyche over the course of years.
South Africa Latest News, South Africa Headlines
Similar News:You can also read news stories similar to this one that we have collected from other news sources.
Ironman Champ Loses Virtual Race After Husband Trips Over Cord, 'What An Idiot'Her husband kicked out the plug!!!
Read more »
Woman loses 100 pounds after doctor warned she may lose eyesight: 'I knew I had to change my life'Kimberly Magee lost 155 pounds after a doctor warned that she may lose her eyesight. 'I knew I had to change my life and that I had to do it now,' says Magee.
Read more »
U.K.'s daily death toll spikes with 786 dead recorded in single dayThe United Kingdom has recorded its highest daily death toll since the beginning of the coronavirus outbreak with 786 news deaths recorded in a single day.
Read more »
TV Ratings: 'Manifest' Finale Grows as NBC Rules MondayThe drama records its biggest same-day audience since its season premiere; CBS' lineup is also above average.
Read more »
Here's what happened to the stock market on TuesdayStocks were rising on hopes the number of new virus cases may be abating, but the rally lost steam late in the day.
Read more »