With officials making a concerted effort to combat the growing rat population in their filthy, disgusting city, The Onion asked New Yorkers to share their worst experiences with the grimy rodents, and this is what they said.
“I was filming a rat skittering across the street, and, uh, it saw me, it really looked like it was making eye contact with me, and it seemed like, like it, um, wanted me to follow, so I-I did, and I followed it down this alley, and it climbed into this dumpster, and I opened the–the dumpster, and inside there was a little convention of rats.
They were in little chairs with a tiny dais and someone–some rat–was giving a presentation, and it was, well, it was kind of boring, actually. They recognized that I was an interloper, so they didn’t want to, uh, share, maybe, or be themselves with someone watching, and it got me thinking about how we can’t always authentically be ourselves, even if we think we’re in the right place, because maybe, maybe there’s always someone who might be looking in, and making you feel self-conscious.
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