She refuses to say more.
: Which … go hunt down some stuff made by women. It’s out there. A lot of it is good.Stoya
: Yep. I think I can see an argument for nonmonogamous experiences being socially harmful to women. There’s an inherent objectification to a lot of sex. I don’t think this objectification is necessarily bad, when done consensually in the container of the sexual experience. But I do think there are sex-negative feminists out there who disagree.: Worship requires objectification.: I just don’t do sex negativity, at least not when it’s prescriptive.
You know, I finally get to put my most recent celebrity-memoir obsession to use here, because Demi Moore talks about this in her book . She says that she and her ex Ashton Kutcher indulged in some group play, supposedly at his urging, which she says was a mistake, in retrospect:Having other people in our marriage presented a totally false sense of power and an absolutely temporary sense of excitement. … Part of the point of monogamy is the energy of somebody making the sacrifice or the choice for you and that you thereby hold this special place that no one else can have.
Again, this is too prescriptive for my taste , but I wonder if our letter writer’s wife made a similar discovery about her own attitudes. There is for sure a vast difference between something like nonmonogamy existing in the abstract and actually living that life. And I have found that sometimes the two do not match—not in terms of my personal attitude toward nonmonogamy, which remains gung-ho, but in partners.: I feel like it’s reasonable to force a meta conversation.
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