Dear How to Do It: Why do men decline a certain sex act because they “respect me too much”?
How do I deal with men who don’t want to do certain things in the bedroom because they “respect [me] too much”? I’ve run in to two men specifically who’ve said this to me over what I consider to be fairly garden-variety stuff, like if they wanted to come on me versus just in their hand. I’m not asking for anything extreme. I’m now engaged to one of those guys, who admittedly is a little vanilla and low sex drive in the bedroom.
Otherwise, you could ask a dermatologist for help with your skin, and a barber for advice on a closer shave for him. Maybe he just needs a straight razor..I’m a bi woman in my late 30s, and I’ve been with my husband for nearly 20 years. Though not without occasional issues, most of the time we have been incredibly happy—he’s unequivocally the love of my life.
Well, I did. But it became incredibly complicated, incredibly fast, because of her other relationship. Though Sharon’s girlfriend agreed to let her explore and they decided they and we could be poly—a term that, for some reason, made me very uncomfortable; I’m still trying to figure out why—it felt very much to me like reluctant agreement on her girlfriend’s part.
The source of your husband’s comfort regarding your relationship with Sharon absolutely could be rooted in the idea that women aren’t competition to men. Have a deep conversation about this. Find out how your husband feels. Ask him what he thinks he’s comfortable with. He could ground himself in the knowledge that he is—as you put it—unequivocally the love of your life. That might be enough security for him.
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